Failure

I just took my chem test. They post the answers online so I went online and checked my grade. I got a 45. I failed my last chem test too. I need to get an A on the last test and at least a B on the final to pass this class. I should be studying for calc right now but finding it so hard to do anything right now. The feeling of being a failure just sucks. I know when I get in this mentality I rather fail for not trying then try my hardest and fail because then I don't feel like a failure. I dont know. Life sucks sometimes. I've gotten 6 hours of sleep for the past 3 days. whatever. Idk what I'm going to do but it'll probably involve me laying in a ball on my bed. I've had the dream of being a doctor since I was in the 6th grade. I see my dreams crashing down in front of me and honestly I dont know how to handle it. Back to studying

tonight there is no bright side and no quote. today is not a good day.